Fucking Coldsores

We’ve been having growth scans due to my low BMI. I’m only 0.1 from normal, but I was delighted all the same. I don’t class myself as skinny anymore, and it meant more previews of Runner Bean, along with the reassurance they bring that everything is going well.

At the 28, 32 and 35 week scans, RB was growing on the 50 percentile. The doctor said we didn’t really need the 37 week scan, but it was booked already so we should keep it. Then at the 37 week scan, RB’s growth had dropped below the 50 percentile. His/her abdominal circumference growth had also slowed. Because in these scans they look for consistent growth, it could be a sign that something isn’t right. Potentially RB’s liver not functioning properly. We were told to have a scan the following week to check the fluid. Based on that scan, RB might be brought out early. That means RB could come this week, rather than in 11 days.

We’d been relatively chilled about it. My impatient side loved the idea of meeting RB sooner and we’re already full term. My rational side knows of course it’s not preferable to come sooner for any indication of health complications.

Then I developed a cold sore. I’ve had a few in pregnancy and am cautious about using Zovirax (Zovirax says ask your doctor, I’ve never had a coldsore close enough to a doc appointment to remember to ask). I was gutted. If RB comes before my coldsore has gone I can’t kiss him / her at birth as I don’t want to pass the enormous pain of coldsores onto him / her.

Then I Googled it. Coldsores can kill newborns because their immune system is so low. What a fucking hazard to have a coldsore so close to having a baby! Besides kissing being out of bounds, apparently I can easily pass the virus if I touch my mouth, then boob, so I have to be super careful with breastfeeding too (if breastfeeding works for us). Gutted doesn’t cover it. I am agnostically praying to my non-god that RB’s delivery date remains as we planned, and this fucking coldsore heals in time for me to end nine months of pregnancy by greeting our new baby with a kiss. 

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