One of my favourite wonderings is wondering about the person RB is becoming. I look at RB and remember he will become a little boy, then a big boy, then a man. I wonder if his current quirks will remain.
He laughs and smiles a lot. He seems kind. He’s so curious. He loves to look at the world. At buses, at shapes, at trees, at people, especially.
I wonder if we’ll be close. If he’ll welcome my company and words, or not. I hope I don’t pressure him in that way. He should need me more than I need him (need isn’t equal to love here). I think I’ll have done my job if I give him the courage and confidence to be free. Though I hope I’ll always be waiting in the wings if he needs me.
The best part of this wondering is I should get to see his story unfold. Hopefully, I’ll help him shape it. I’ll help him make and use the opportunities that shape him.
I went to state school. When I was younger I thought state school helped keep people grounded and street smart. Now I think, fuck that. State school helps keep people in minimum wage jobs. I can keep RB grounded and street smart. I want him to enjoy the best education money can buy. And enjoy the opportunities that brings. And if we can give him those privileges, and if he can stay happy and kind, imagine the good he might bring the world. That’s what I see in him really. A force for good in this world. How could this little dreamboat be anything less?