Watching RB develop is incredible. All of a sudden he can grab what he’s looking for and hold it. Before, his teething ring would fall on his face and he couldn’t pull it back to his mouth. Now he clasps it in his fingers. He sits up more freely. He still needs our assistance but he can sit on our lap, held only at the waist. This new mobility frees all of us.
He wants to contribute on our level. He wants to sit as one of us, talk and respond as an equal. He spends much of his day moving his tongue around his mouth, sucking his lips, working his voice, making sounds, building up to words and then one day, conversation.
I know but can’t understand how this person is here. Like knowing an equation by rote but not being able to work it out myself I can’t fathom his existence. Made by me and his dad, grown in my body, but he’s not ours, or subsections of us, he’s him.
When he grows into who he’ll become, the most we’ll get is a passing recognition as his parents. He’ll be taken as him. That is beyond me. Our ability to create a unique, independent, conscious being, who is programmed to develop from helpless babe to capable adult, is more than my little brain can handle.
I’m agnostic. I don’t believe he was created by a god. But I do believe that birth and life, nature really, is pretty awe inspiring.