I don’t tend to post much now because generally, life’s quite good. There is enough smug in social without me… Read more Taste of Life Before
It’s been an agonising decision but we’ve just ordered RB a helmet to reshape his wonky head. The advice is… Read more Flat Head Helmets
My period has returned. It has threatened it for a few months. I’ve bought sanitary towels every time I’ve gone… Read more That Time Of The Year
Before RB came along I said I prefer older kids, ones I could converse with. Realistically from 6 or 7… Read more Personality Goes A Long Way
It’s not going brilliantly. We’ve tried a few Ella’s pouches. (I’m not going to pretend we’re going to puree his… Read more Weaning
I’ve been living in the same two bras for months now. I lie. They’re not actually bras, but Sweaty Betty… Read more Busted
A second restaurant told us we’re not welcome with RB. Ironically, we had successfully dined in this one previously after… Read more No Room At The Inn
We had a naming ceremony for RB. It was bloody lovely. No-one attending had been to one before, though RB’s… Read more Naming Ceremony
WTAF?! My boobs are EVEN smaller than they were pre pregnancy. Few would have thought that possible but I just… Read more Post Baby Boobies
I thought I had it covered. We had two intro sessions last week to give RB a taste of nursery.… Read more RB Goes to Nursery
Whenever strangers tell me RB has been really good on a train / plane, and they barely noticed he was… Read more ‘He’s So Good’ Should Be Replaced With ‘Well Done’
Five months ago when I had RB by elective section I was an outlier, and c-sections were the devil. Natural… Read more Finally, Childbirth Propaganda is Being Outed
I dreamed RB’s first words were ‘hurry up you fucking ho’. He was roughly 6 months old. My amazement was… Read more Swearing in Front of RB
Watching RB develop is incredible. All of a sudden he can grab what he’s looking for and hold it. Before,… Read more Nature is Magnificent. Or RB Becoming a Person Blows My Mind
It started in his nursery. I’d hear him on the monitor singing along to opera on Radio 3. It would… Read more Runner Bean is Learning to Sing
It has surprised me how much strangers want to talk when you have a baby. It’s almost impossible not to… Read more Strangers Become Friends When You Have A Baby
RB heard his first thunder and saw his first lightning. I started to explain what it was to him, got… Read more Going Back to School (via RB)
RB and I converse most of the day. I speak, he smiles and squeaks. I think it helps him understand… Read more Picking Battles
‘Staying at home with RB is harder than going to work,’ I said to a table of parents. The eldest… Read more Full-time Baby Care is Both Women’s Work and Worthless Work.
I’m excited to start uni again in September. RB will be in childcare three days a week – two at… Read more Child Care Provider Is Not the Same As Mother
Sometimes I read Astrology Zone as if it is the blueprint to my life. I wait to hear what will… Read more Learning to Cherish the Good Stuff
The general story goes that women don’t want sex after having a baby because they: feel unattractive / are fulfilled… Read more Abstinence is the Best Contraception
A friend bought RB his first piano. It’s pretty basic and plays eight notes but it’s big and easy… Read more A Musical Toy That Sounds Nice
One of my favourite wonderings is wondering about the person RB is becoming. I look at RB and remember he… Read more Who Will RB Be?
We finished RB’s first block of swimming lessons. Given he’s four months old, water acclimatisation sessions is more accurate, but… Read more Baby Swimming Lessons
RB’s daddy was already the wind machine – he could bring up RB’s burps in minutes. Now he can sew… Read more Daddy is the Bringer of Sleep
I was trying to wash my dog after a walk. He likes mud so we do this a lot. Yet… Read more Life is a Series of Chores
I haven’t read enough children’s books to Runner Bean but I’ve discovered there’s lots of shit out there. My mum… Read more Good Books
I nearly drank a caffeinated coffee, felt my usual whoosh of mild panic, then realised I’m totally free to have… Read more The Little Restraints
My boobs have dried up and shrunk. They fit my nursing bra like peas rolling around two egg cups. I… Read more The Allure of Formula
I’ve always wanted money for the freedom it brings. A private pile would stop you needing to bite your tongue… Read more Gadgets for Easier Travel
My abs split during pregnancy to make space for my bump to grow. I cried. I like my abs. My… Read more Exercises for Split Abs – a.k.a Diastis Recti
(I wrote this on the plane and emailed it to myself. I hoped there might be some record of it… Read more God I Love This Child
I’m bloody exhausted. It’s not even that RB is a bad sleeper. It’s just caring for newborn babies, and feeding… Read more I’m Bloody Exhausted.
Have you noticed how many pregnancy and mothering terms underplay whatever is being described? ‘Morning Sickness’ = ‘Vomiting and Nausea’‘Baby Blues’… Read more Baby Brain My Arse. It’s Utter Exhaustion.
Shit seems to come on Tuesdays, Terrible Tuesdays: the dog drama, finding out a wonderful friend and neighbour had died,… Read more Neurotic Parenting
‘Are you okay?’ she asked. My moment had frozen as I recognized my upturned buggy, bassinet face down. ‘I’ve got… Read more A Dog and A Baby
I introduced Runner Bean to the concept of short term pain for long term gain as he had his first… Read more Learning Early
A nurse moved to the next question on the form for RB, ‘Does he have a religion?’‘He’s four weeks old.… Read more Does He Have a Religion?
I love Tatler. Behind its tongue in cheek pomposity is a modern attitude. It can speak wisdom. This month, Tatler… Read more I’m His Mum. That’s a Pretty Big Deal.